I was practicing poi in my little studio apartment alone.  I arranged my room to be open and clear while the sun was pouring in through the open breezy bay windows.  My oak full-length dressing mirror was in one corner of the room and my shiny, silvery globe (in which you can see the entire round reflection of the room) was in the other corner.  Across from me on the wall, I could see the top of my head and my hands as they passed over it, in the mirror of an open jewelry box while on the other wall I could see my shadow.  I could almost see myself from all sides at one angle or another. 

After a while, an incredibly intense trance song began playing on the stereo and I really got into my groove.  I closed my eyes and went deeper into my groove.  All of the sudden I realized I was making a double helix pattern with my poi and my body was in the middle of it.  I could see it with my eyes closed.  I could feel it with my eyes open.  I started contemplating science and relating it to what I was doing.  I began turning my body one way and the poi the other, against each other like a gear.   At that moment, in my mind I felt connected to every thing I know and love and believe in.  I saw the Truth.  I could feel it in my entire being.  It caused me to think of Atom.  Atom my boyfriend, atoms in a helix.  A helix that I was creating.  I realized that he is atoms--his name is Atom--I love Atom--I am atoms--atoms are science--science is a language to be understood, like math or hieroglyphics or English—and I was understanding, and that it’s all the same and that it’s all truth and goodness and I felt secure, I felt happy.  A happy so overwhelmingly intense, there are no words to describe it. 

I started to cry.  Then I started to sob… to really sob. As I released the energy, I felt that it was a relief of knowing kind of release.  As if I was laugh/crying at myself for ever doubting the universe and what it has shown me.  Like I knew everything is as it should be and that I am surrounded by love and am safe. I am where I should be.  I am home.